Decided to go for a walk to burn off some calories from my lazy day today and this rat comes running across the street and up onto the sidewalk and sits down right in front of me. (I had stopped walking when I saw it hop up on the curb)
Little bugger thinks I’m Snow White or some shit. So I tried to shoo him off the sidewalk because I know there are a lot of cats in the neighborhood and people walking dogs because I didn’t want him to get eaten. And he wouldn’t budge. Just kept sitting there, twitching his whiskers. So as I’m thinking “Oh Jeez I can’t believe this little guy” and I zoom in for this picture—which came out blurry—my boyfriend calls me.
"Hello my Dear, what are you doing?" (he talks like a little old man. Adorbz.)
"Well I was going for a walk, but I’ve found a rat.”
"…what? You found a rat?"
"Yeah, a rat—with whiskers. He’s kind of cute."
"You didn’t pick it up did you?"
"No of course not. He just walked up and sat down by my feet, I can’t get him to scurry off the sidewalk. He’s about to be lunch; I know there are cats around here."
"Anything around you that you can put him in?"
"No; nothing. Just some sticks."
"Okay. Go get two sticks, and slide them under his belly, and see if you can’t get him into a bush."
So I tucked the phone between my ear and my shoulder and went stick hunting and got one decent-length twig under his front forepaws and picked up his front half, and sort of led-walked him to the nearest bush. All while talking. “Silly rat; this isn’t a good place to stop. Come on baby, almost at the bush. Come on. There you go. Little more. You aren’t very smart, are you?”
So of course the boyfriend, “…are you talking to the rat?”
"What? He’s cute."
Long story short, I got him safely in the bush, but I don’t hold out much hope for his survival. Poor little guy wasn’t very active and didn’t even try to get away when I moved him with the stick. He just tried to grab it.